18

Today is my 18th birthday. It isn't as glorious a day as I had drempt of when I was, say, 10, or 15, but I guess it has it's perks. I don't feel any different, nor did my mind just suddenly "click" into adult mode. I guess it's just, "Meh". I have, however, compiled a list of some things that I can now legally do. Enjoy.

• I can get into R rated movies, even if there's somebody stupid at the front desk.
• I can both purchase and become licensed to use firearms.
• I can buy and smoke cigarettes.
• I can buy R rated movies at Wal-Mart, even if there's somebody stupid behind the counter.
• I can buy M rated games at Wal-Mart, even if there's somebody stupid behind the counter.
• I can buy un-bleeped music at On-Que, even if there's somebody stupid behind the counter.
• I can enlist in the military without getting permission from my parents.

However, there are also some things you should know.

• No. I will not ride with you to town so you can get an R rated movie from Wal-Mart.
• No. I will not ride with you to town so you can get an M rated game from Wal-Mart.
• No. I will not buy you cigarettes. Nor will I likely buy any for myself.
  
• No. I will not ride with you to town so you can get unbleeped music from On-Que.
• No. I will not be joining the military.

It's worthy of note that if we're at Wal-Mart and an R or M rated title catches your eye, I may indeed help you acquire it, but don't expect me to go all the way to town just for this purpose. Don't ever ask me to buy you cigarettes. I won't. Really. I'm telling you up front, ask me to buy you a pack of cigs and things are not going to play out in your favor. I'll likely take the money you give me and buy something to drink and eat. I always get hungry when people piss me off.