iWant one, damnit
I just watched Steve Jobs' keynote speech where he unveiled the iPod nano, Apple's replacement for the iPod mini. I have to admit, it's damn slick. I want one. I really do.
That's the problem.
I hate the iPod and everything it stands for. (Aside from having a lot of music in your pocket, I like that part.) It's overpriced, it's...it's...well, okay, I'll admit that the only thing I have against the iPod is that I can't afford one.
I could come up with something about how Creative and Dell have "better" players for less cash, but they don't. They may cost less, or have a few odd features the iPod lacks, but they aren't "better". I've had my hands on several of said players, so I'm not just shooting words out of my ass. The Dell DJ is really nice, aside from it's a hard disk in a metal box that weighs thirty some pounds, and takes half a minute to power up or shut down. The Creative Zen Micro is covered with cheap plastic coating that develops annoying air bubbles and feels junky. My Creative MuVo would take a solid five minutes to fill with songs from my WMP library, and that only gave me about two hours of music. All of said players also eat through their batteries (internal or otherwise) like they're in some kind of damn race to charging dock. They also sport user interfaces that make my right thumb cry.
Whenever I see someone with an iPod, I want to run up to them and shake them like a rag doll whilst spouting my anti-iPod propaganda all over the room. I was at lunch a few days ago, just sitting around talking to friends, when Elissa (if I spelled her name wrong I'm sorry) starts talking about "the senior song" or something. I can't quite remember the name of the song, but I remember I had never heard of it before. She kept telling me that I would recognize the song if I heard it, and pulled some earbuds out of her purse. I put them in and waited for the song to play, and play it did, but I didn't hear it. You know why? Because my eyes had taken notice of the earbuds' cord.
It was white.
I followed the cord back to her hand; it was plugged into an iPod. My brain froze and a kaleidoscope of images flew through my mind. My iTunes library flew past, all my favorite songs started playing at once, and a flurry of color LCD menus with my favorite iTunes playlists on them shot out of the ground. I was iPwned. My resolve crumbled. Pass the goddamn Victory Gin and hook me up with a seat in front of a nice wide telescreen. I'm broken. Broken. I could feel Steve Jobs extend his cold grip through the Apple branded earbuds and grab my soul. At that moment something inside came unglued, unstuck. Some bit of solder fell off and a wire popped loose. My connection to the part of my brai
n containing all of my best anti-iPod thoughts and phrases was severed, and in it's place I found nothing but visions of myself inside an Apple store, on my knees, crying at all the cool things I would never have enough money to buy. Elissa had started talking again at this point, but I missed the first few words as I came out of my daze. She was asking me if I recognized the song. I said that I hadn't.
After writing the above, I went to the Apple store and looked through their wares. The most practical iPod, the 20 gig model, goes for $299. Three hundred dollars. That's a lot. For $300 you could get a PStwo and some games, a cheap TV, my computer (laugh if you please), a better video card, or countless other things. That's a nice chunk of change to drop on just something to replace your CD player. It makes my unemployed stomach cramp up like I've swallowed a rusty bear trap. I can't imagine what it must do to someone who actually has to pay bills, who actually has a feel for the value of the dollar. I'll admit that I, as a teenager who lives with his parents and has neither job nor car, do not.
But hey, look down at the bottom there. No, not the specs, or the included gear. Under all that. The credit option. You see that? Seven dollars a month. S
even. I could pull seven dollars out of my ass each week. I'm this close from fishing through the trash for one of those Sony credit cards teens get in the mail all the time. This close. Hell, I could just eat less at lunch and have a monthly payment every other day. That's nearly cheap as free.
Wait...
That's it. The game is over. I can write...no...more. I've just proved that the iPod is cheap. You read that last sentance okay? Did you catch all 31 letters? God. I need sleep.
I could come up with something about how Creative and Dell have "better" players for less cash, but they don't. They may cost less, or have a few odd features the iPod lacks, but they aren't "better". I've had my hands on several of said players, so I'm not just shooting words out of my ass. The Dell DJ is really nice, aside from it's a hard disk in a metal box that weighs thirty some pounds, and takes half a minute to power up or shut down. The Creative Zen Micro is covered with cheap plastic coating that develops annoying air bubbles and feels junky. My Creative MuVo would take a solid five minutes to fill with songs from my WMP library, and that only gave me about two hours of music. All of said players also eat through their batteries (internal or otherwise) like they're in some kind of damn race to charging dock. They also sport user interfaces that make my right thumb cry.
Whenever I see someone with an iPod, I want to run up to them and shake them like a rag doll whilst spouting my anti-iPod propaganda all over the room. I was at lunch a few days ago, just sitting around talking to friends, when Elissa (if I spelled her name wrong I'm sorry) starts talking about "the senior song" or something. I can't quite remember the name of the song, but I remember I had never heard of it before. She kept telling me that I would recognize the song if I heard it, and pulled some earbuds out of her purse. I put them in and waited for the song to play, and play it did, but I didn't hear it. You know why? Because my eyes had taken notice of the earbuds' cord.
It was white.
I followed the cord back to her hand; it was plugged into an iPod. My brain froze and a kaleidoscope of images flew through my mind. My iTunes library flew past, all my favorite songs started playing at once, and a flurry of color LCD menus with my favorite iTunes playlists on them shot out of the ground. I was iPwned. My resolve crumbled. Pass the goddamn Victory Gin and hook me up with a seat in front of a nice wide telescreen. I'm broken. Broken. I could feel Steve Jobs extend his cold grip through the Apple branded earbuds and grab my soul. At that moment something inside came unglued, unstuck. Some bit of solder fell off and a wire popped loose. My connection to the part of my brai
n containing all of my best anti-iPod thoughts and phrases was severed, and in it's place I found nothing but visions of myself inside an Apple store, on my knees, crying at all the cool things I would never have enough money to buy. Elissa had started talking again at this point, but I missed the first few words as I came out of my daze. She was asking me if I recognized the song. I said that I hadn't.After writing the above, I went to the Apple store and looked through their wares. The most practical iPod, the 20 gig model, goes for $299. Three hundred dollars. That's a lot. For $300 you could get a PStwo and some games, a cheap TV, my computer (laugh if you please), a better video card, or countless other things. That's a nice chunk of change to drop on just something to replace your CD player. It makes my unemployed stomach cramp up like I've swallowed a rusty bear trap. I can't imagine what it must do to someone who actually has to pay bills, who actually has a feel for the value of the dollar. I'll admit that I, as a teenager who lives with his parents and has neither job nor car, do not.
But hey, look down at the bottom there. No, not the specs, or the included gear. Under all that. The credit option. You see that? Seven dollars a month. S
even. I could pull seven dollars out of my ass each week. I'm this close from fishing through the trash for one of those Sony credit cards teens get in the mail all the time. This close. Hell, I could just eat less at lunch and have a monthly payment every other day. That's nearly cheap as free.Wait...
That's it. The game is over. I can write...no...more. I've just proved that the iPod is cheap. You read that last sentance okay? Did you catch all 31 letters? God. I need sleep.
written by panguan at 9:55 PM
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