Ka-boom
I've got this horrible feeling in the back of my stomach like I really screwed something up. You know what I'm talking about; I've got that empty, hollow feeling in my gut that tells me something, somewhere if fucked up and it's all my fault. I'm not sure exactly what has gone awry due to my error, but I'm sure something has.
I've got a feeling it could be my mind telling me that I totally screwed up on those two projects I turned in yesterday. My Latin II project was less than stellar. I was missing three pages from it, so I'm already looking at a 70, and that's if he doesn't take off points for anything else. I don't think Mr. Diaz will send me up the river, though. He knows...no, he understands that that project is a large chunk of our grade. All teachers know that large projects are worth big grades, but they don't seem to care. Even if we turn in nothing he won't give us a flat out zero. Trust me, I didn't turn in anything for the first six-week project, and Mr. Diaz gave me a 50. I know a 50 isn't a good grade, but I didn't do anything. I asked him about it, and he said that he didn't want my entire grade to go to hell just because I screwed up once. I quote: "You shouldn't get a really bad grade because of one mistake." I would have to agree. That 50 still hurt, a lot, but it didn't bring my grade down as far as a 0 would have. A 0 would have killed me.
Or maybe my gut is bitching about that "Black Boy" paper I turned in in English III today. I'm not worried about the paper being bad; I know my paper was good. As a matter of fact, I put rating scales on the printouts I passed around the room during our peer-editing session. I got all 5's and 4's (out of 5). My paper was the hotness. The only thing I'm worried about is not having "strong evidence of revision". I don't know about you guys, but I don't like revision. This doesn't mean what you think it means. I do check my stuff, but I do it as I write. I don't go on to the next paragraph unless I'm done with the one I'm working on. I describe this best by making reference to a movie I saw once called "Secret Window". The main character is a writer, you see, and he's sitting at his computer with his cat writing. He leans back in his chair and starts talking, both to himself and to his cat, about how he isn't happy with the paragraph he just finished. After thinking for a small bit about different ways he could fix it, he just selects the whole block and says, "It's just bad writing. You know how we fix bad writing?" He hits the "delete" key. That is exactly what I do. If I don't like it, I delete that shit on the spot. I don't drag it out and produce a million prototypes of crap before I get gold. I shoot for a solid paper the first time.
Of course there's no explaining that to a teacher, much less Mrs. Sherman, so I don't try. All in all I think I'll get a decent grade on the paper, even with the points she's going to dock me for not having a ba-jillion rough drafts and not covering everything with post-its about how I fixed my spelling and grammar. I fell a little asinine saying that "I don't make bad writing", but the truth is that I don't. I won't turn in something I don't like.
I'm done for now. Peace.
The whole server tirade is over, by the way.
I've got a feeling it could be my mind telling me that I totally screwed up on those two projects I turned in yesterday. My Latin II project was less than stellar. I was missing three pages from it, so I'm already looking at a 70, and that's if he doesn't take off points for anything else. I don't think Mr. Diaz will send me up the river, though. He knows...no, he understands that that project is a large chunk of our grade. All teachers know that large projects are worth big grades, but they don't seem to care. Even if we turn in nothing he won't give us a flat out zero. Trust me, I didn't turn in anything for the first six-week project, and Mr. Diaz gave me a 50. I know a 50 isn't a good grade, but I didn't do anything. I asked him about it, and he said that he didn't want my entire grade to go to hell just because I screwed up once. I quote: "You shouldn't get a really bad grade because of one mistake." I would have to agree. That 50 still hurt, a lot, but it didn't bring my grade down as far as a 0 would have. A 0 would have killed me.
Or maybe my gut is bitching about that "Black Boy" paper I turned in in English III today. I'm not worried about the paper being bad; I know my paper was good. As a matter of fact, I put rating scales on the printouts I passed around the room during our peer-editing session. I got all 5's and 4's (out of 5). My paper was the hotness. The only thing I'm worried about is not having "strong evidence of revision". I don't know about you guys, but I don't like revision. This doesn't mean what you think it means. I do check my stuff, but I do it as I write. I don't go on to the next paragraph unless I'm done with the one I'm working on. I describe this best by making reference to a movie I saw once called "Secret Window". The main character is a writer, you see, and he's sitting at his computer with his cat writing. He leans back in his chair and starts talking, both to himself and to his cat, about how he isn't happy with the paragraph he just finished. After thinking for a small bit about different ways he could fix it, he just selects the whole block and says, "It's just bad writing. You know how we fix bad writing?" He hits the "delete" key. That is exactly what I do. If I don't like it, I delete that shit on the spot. I don't drag it out and produce a million prototypes of crap before I get gold. I shoot for a solid paper the first time.
Of course there's no explaining that to a teacher, much less Mrs. Sherman, so I don't try. All in all I think I'll get a decent grade on the paper, even with the points she's going to dock me for not having a ba-jillion rough drafts and not covering everything with post-its about how I fixed my spelling and grammar. I fell a little asinine saying that "I don't make bad writing", but the truth is that I don't. I won't turn in something I don't like.
I'm done for now. Peace.
The whole server tirade is over, by the way.
written by panguan at 4:38 PM
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